One of the things that we have been learning about is open adoption. Traditionally people have done closed adoptions where birth parents and adoptive parents don't know each other and there is no contact between them. Open adoption is now becoming more the norm for many reasons. What that means is that we would possibly (more than likely) meet the birth mom before the child is born but more importantly we would have continued contact with her (or the birth family) through the child's life. At first this seemed scary and intimidating and almost like a co-parenting situation. The picture I had in my head was that of divorce where one parent keeps the kids most of the time but the other has visiting rights and might keep the child as often as every weekend. I was happy to learn that this is not what open adoption is at all! It's looks more like extended family. The birth mom may be (hopefully will be) someone special in the child's life, kind of like a grandparent or great aunt. However she has no parental rights and has no parental decision-making authority. Sure she can voice her opinion but ultimately it is our decision. We, with the birth mom, will decide how the child will refer to her. Most of the time the birth mom will choose her first name. There are so many different ways that it can play out. For instance, just being able to have contact with the birth family as far as medical background goes can be a huge deal if something were to come up later in the child's life.
The first time most people hear about open adoption they are taken back. I haven't always been in the spot I am now with it but I feel excited about the possibility of an open adoption. Not only are will we be changing a child's life but they will definitely be changing ours. On top of that, we will have the opportunity to bless and minister to the birth mom and/or birth family. The potential is there for God to really work and use Kyle and I in that situation. That excites me!!
Let me know what you're thinking about it or if you have any questions. I'm not promising we can answer them because we may have the same questions but at least we can ask it together.
I think you will have great success with open adoption! You will be amazing parents!
ReplyDeleteI have a very good friend who did an open adoption. Their daughter is now 7. It has worked very well for them. Let me know if you would like to talk with them. I know they would love to share their experience with you.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
julie