How did we get here... (Part 1)

     Some of you may know our story because you've been by our side throughout.  And for that you'll never know how much that has meant to us.  Some of you aren't quite sure or you've heard pieces of it.  What made us infertile?  How many infertility treatments did we do?  Had we ever thought about adoption before?  I hope to answer many of these questions.  I hope to encourage others who may be going through something like this.  If that's you, please reach out to us.  We want to pray with you and encourage you in any way we can.  Now to the story, at least part 1:
 
     It all started when two people fell in love... hahaha.  No but seriously, when Kyle and I got married (1/3/04) we had gotten counsel from some wise people and they suggested we wait a little while to have kids.  Get to know each other and learn about ministry and how we will minister together.  We felt that was very wise and so Kyle and I decided to wait three years before trying to have kids.
     In the mean time we loved on kids in the ministry.  That three years went by pretty quickly.  We both finished up our bachelors degrees and moved to Missouri to start our first full time ministry together.  Adoption did come up a couple of times after certain ministries that the church supported came to visit.  The talk was mostly, "yeah, that's something that would be cool after we have our own."
     Even though that time went fast, I was ready to start trying by the time three years was up.  So March 2007 was the magic month.  A few months go by with nothing and doubts creep in.  I start researching how long it takes the average couple to get pregnant: 6 months.  Okay, we were still in that time frame.  Six months comes and goes, ugh!  In the mean time I'm researching more and more and come across a website and book.  The title of the book is Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler.  The website is www.tcoyf.com.   This is a natural way to do birth control but also suppose to help you get pregnant faster. Well, I guess I don't really know how much detail to go into here... but the basics are that I needed to take my temperature every morning to know exactly when the best time of the month to 'try' would be.  This all started around December of 2007.  It takes the average couple 3 months to get pregnant while temping.  I was definitely uplifted by this fact. 
     It did not take me long to learn that my cycle was not what it should be to carry a baby.  My temperatures showed that I had low progesterone.  I immediately started researching natural ways to fix that.  I tried several different things.  All promising.  All disappointing.  I know way too much about a woman's cycle for not being a doctor!  Seriously, it's ridiculous!  By this time I had started having physical symptoms of stress.  Ok, they were probably more like panic attacks.  These symptoms mostly only came at the end of the month when I was waiting to see if I was pregnant.  Was I going to have my period or not!?!  I was short of breath often.  My stomach/diagram felt like a rock.  I clinched my jaw til I got headaches.  It was serious stuff.  I felt awful, yet didn't know how to stop it.  Stress isn't good for making babies either!  Geesh!  This brings us to August 2009. 

....to be continued.

Adoption Through Time

Call me short-sighted or whatever, but I was completely caught off guard when we started out our first homestudy session talking about the storied history of adoption. For some reason, my only thoughts about adoption were limited to my personal experiences and knowledge of modern adoption practices.
I certainly knew that adoption was mentioned in the Bible, and quite a few times at that. One of the things that has become impressed on me throughout our journey toward adoption are the mentions in the Bible of us all being adopted as children of God. Whatever misgivings I have had about adopting are being alleviated by knowing more fully that adoption is very close to the heart of God.
Beyond the Bible, I was clueless that adoption was any different than what we think of today, which would be the means to build or provide a family. In the few articles I have read I have come to know that the Romans had the closest system to our own. Many societies have had adoption practices but were usually more like indentured servitude in nature. The nature of adoption began to change in the late 19th Century and early 20th Century. If history is something that interests you, I would suggest you Google "Orphan Trains" for some fascinating reading. This event took place in the U.S. and was born out of good intentions but had mixed results. The other fascinating thing that shaped early modern adoption practices was early genetic theory. Such theories prompted much of the secrecy around adoption that is so familiar to our thinking of adoption and is worthy of research as well.
It is fascinating and humbling to me to be a part of the long history of adoption. Though we are certainly not the innovators or the first in pursuing an open adoption, we stand at the brink of some new adoption history to be written. We are certainly excited to be led by God in this new ground and are certainly feeling blessed already. Thanks to all of you for your continued support and prayers for us! Do some of your own adoption history research and let me know what you think!

Open Adoption... What Is That?

   One of the things that we have been learning about is open adoption.  Traditionally people have done closed adoptions where birth parents and adoptive parents don't know each other and there is no contact between them.  Open adoption is now becoming more the norm for many reasons.  What that means is that we would possibly (more than likely) meet the birth mom before the child is born but more importantly we would have continued contact with her (or the birth family) through the child's life.  At first this seemed scary and intimidating and almost like a co-parenting situation.  The picture I had in my head was that of divorce where one parent keeps the kids most of the time but the other has visiting rights and might keep the child as often as every weekend.  I was happy to learn that this is not what open adoption is at all!  It's looks more like extended family.  The birth mom may be (hopefully will be) someone special in the child's life, kind of like a grandparent or great aunt.  However she has no parental rights and has no parental decision-making authority.  Sure she can voice her opinion but ultimately it is our decision.  We, with the birth mom, will decide how the child will refer to her.  Most of the time the birth mom will choose her first name.  There are so many different ways that it can play out.  For instance, just being able to have contact with the birth family as far as medical background goes can be a huge deal if something were to come up later in the child's life.   
   The first time most people hear about open adoption they are taken back.  I haven't always been in the spot I am now with it but I feel excited about the possibility of an open adoption.  Not only are will we be changing a child's life but they will definitely be changing ours.  On top of that, we will have the opportunity to bless and minister to the birth mom and/or birth family.  The potential is there for God to really work and use Kyle and I in that situation.  That excites me!!
   Let me know what you're thinking about it or if you have any questions.  I'm not promising we can answer them because we may have the same questions but at least we can ask it together.

My first blog!

   I've told many of you of my desire to blog through our adoption journey.  This is something Kyle and I have talked of doing because so many of you are lifting us up in prayer.  You have no idea what your prayers have meant to us through our infertility struggle.  There have been many times when our peace or joy or just being able to live life has only come from the hand of God. 

   My plan (and those of you that know me very well, know that I always have a plan, haha) so my plan is to share with you this journey of adoption.  I want to share things I learn and my feelings about what's going on.  Not to mention keep you updated on our progress.  And from time to time Kyle may even write a blog or two, wouldn't that be nice?  There are so many things already that I want to share with you, but for now that's all I have time for.